Giving Money to Beggars

Here's someone using humor to bring attention to a real problem.

Most civic leaders and law enforcement officers here in the SF Bay Area advise citizens to not give money to beggars. It bothers me that the same advice they give is the same kind of thinking city managers have to control urban pigeon populations. If you don’t feed them, they’ll go away. What a lot of people don’t know is that when we don’t feed the pigeons, they feed on themselves.

Today, I finished my first full day of Christmas shopping and I’m nowhere near done. But, as I expected, I was approached by a man asking for money. Passive beggars, those on corners and sidewalks holding signs, are easy to ignore. The active beggars, those who select and approach individuals seeking a donation, make you give them attention.

Normally, I scan the parking lot when I leave a store to avoid beggars. This time, there were just too many people getting in and out of their cars for me to spot him. My avoidance technique might sound heartless to most people, but it’s the best way to avoid a potential robbery.


Here's an actual sign used by a real homeless person.

So anyway, this guy comes up to me and shows respect by not getting too close. He kindly explained that he’s Tongan and that Tongans have strong family bonds and stay together and support each other. He mistook me for Samoan, but I didn’t say I wasn’t. He was depending on me to understand the clan mentality of the island nations of the Pacific.

He said that he recently lost his job and that he and his family were homeless and hungry. It’s at this point when I choose whether or not to give money. I’ve had enough drug addicts and alcoholics beg me for money that I can see right through their false stories and I give them nothing.

This guy seemed different. First of all, I’ve never been approached by a Tongan asking for money. This guy was huge and powerful looking. He walked with a cane. Maybe he blew his knee out when he was younger, or had it to gain sympathy. Lots of Tongans play football and rugby as young men. He was probably in his late forties. His clothes were somewhat new and clean, and he spoke eloquently as if he had some education. From other things he said, I could also tell he was a deeply religious man.

I went to school with Samoans and Tongans. They are proud people. Whatever misfortune that fell on this man was hard enough to compel him to beg. He asked me for $20 because the day was growing dark and it could make the difference between getting a hotel room or staying out in the cold. Most addicts will take anything and aren’t specific about how much they ask for. I gave him $5 and said, “I’ve got others to support, too.” He replied, “I can tell by the way you paused [when I was selecting a bill to give] you wanted to give me a twenty, but you’ve got your own family to think about. That’s alright and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. God blesses you for helping me and my family.”

Why did I give him only $5? One can never truly be sure of a really good hustler. And, I hate it when I’ve been suckered. He and I parted paths peacefully, and that’s all I really cared about. He didn’t press me for more money, even though he knew I had more and that cane he had, which could’ve been used as a weapon, was propped behind him against a car and not in his hands. So, the five bucks I considered a “good conscience fee.” I don’t feed pigeons. But I won’t participate in sending anyone to feed on others either.

Let me offer everyone some tips here:

• Always maintain a “safe zone” between you and a beggar.
  


• Always have small amounts of cash in your pocket that is separate from a wallet or money clip.
  


• Never show exactly how much money you’re carrying, if you’re going to give money to a beggar. It would be very easy for a thief to just grab everything you had in your hands.
  


• Also, keep your transaction brief. If the parking lot starts to empty of eye witnesses, cut off any stories the beggar is telling. Either hand him or her some money, or walk away immediately.
  


• Treat beggars with respect. An over-the-top denial could enrage a needy person. A polite “no, thank you” should be enough when approached.