Sorry to all the few of you that read my blog. It's been ages since I've posted anything. Lot's of drama in my life lately, and it's taken its toll on my productivity. I think I'm getting a hang of what I need to do to turn things around in my favor without hurting anybody in the process.
To those I've neglected and to those I've smothered...I deeply apologize for being selfish.
I've walked a long and lonely road all my life, and there's still miles and miles of more of the same ahead of me. I thought I could take a short cut. But God has a way of humbling people and steering them back on the right path.
"You just haven't earned it son...You must suffer and cry for a longer time." -The Smiths
This song has a lot of emotional baggage attached to it. When I first learned it, I was trying to get over the fact that the woman I thought I wanted marry had different plans...and they didn't include me.
At that time, someone new came into my life. We met at the health club where we both had memberships. She was an exchange student from Japan and she asked me to help her with writing assignments because she wasn't confident her English was strong enough. While proofreading her work, I fell for her charm and beauty. Things went well for a few months, then out of the blue, she said she couldn't continue because her family wouldn't approve.
In both cases, I was left on my own because both women were more attracted to White men. The first woman told me, "You're everything I could've ever wanted in a man. I'm sure you'd make me very happy. It's, it's, it's just that you're not White." She had grown up dating other Filipino-American guys with disasterous results. There was nothing I could say or do to convince her that I was "different" than the others. The other woman, I later found out, was looking for someone to marry here in the U.S. so that she wouldn't have to go back to Japan. I guess she did me a favor and saved me a future break up.
In between these two women, I had dated a few other women while in college. But, as time has revealed, I kept finding myself on my own. That made me wonder: Did nature intend for me to have a solitary existence? I hope not.
Recently, I've started playing this song again. With good reason. I never thought I could shed the shackles of the past. My first true love has the happy life she deserves and I can't spend the rest of my life in envy of it. My best therapy is to just move on. I've found new inspiration and new life. So this song brings me happiness again. I used to play it over and over again as punishment for not being good enough, or tall enough, or rich enough, or handsome enough, and most unfairly not "White" enough. No more. And, even if I spend the rest of my life as a bachelor, I know I will have lifelong friends to uplift me.
I am in love with this song (at least the Alison Krauss and Union Station version). For many years, I've been playing this song all for myself from time to time. In the mornings on weekends; late at night when no one else is home; or when I'm so sick of being lonely that the only way to get rid of the "blues" was to just explore it until I arose feeling rejuvenated.
There was a woman in my life that I always pictured when singing this song in the past. I don't think of her much these days. She has the life she wanted and deserves. But, there'll always be that place and time we had when some of the best moments during conversations were the pondering silences in between words.
Now, I feel it's time for me to share a song that's kept me company and given me comfort. Strange when you lose a friend. Another one can appear like magic!
Whenever I hear a song I want to learn how to play and make a part of my repetoire, inevitably the song is usually sung by a woman or women. From Bjork to Alison Kraus to Joni Mitchell, women have a musical voice that grips my heart at the intro.
Pretty Boy was a hit song in the 90's. M2M was a Norwegian pop music duo composed of two girls - Marion Elise Raven and Marit Elisabeth Larsen (Wikipedia).
To make this song my own, I had to change "boy" to "girl." I made my own guitar arrangement because other covers of this song I found on YouTube I found sadly lacking in rhythm and melody. Mine isn't perfect and as always, with my guitar playng, is a work in progress.
I play this song so much better off camera. It's not so much nerves, but impatience with the production process.
All the different ladies that have given me laughter, inspiration, an ear, and nourishment...this is dedicated to you!
Here's a place where all YouTubers named "Ernie" can meet each other. The channel will act as a central repository for links to our work, and a hub where the YouTube community can easily find people named Ernie, both men and women.
A fellow YouTuber sent me a link to the video below. I watched her video several times so that I could rephrase her questions in my mind. The second video below were my responses.
I became aware of Asians and White people co-mingling in the early 1970's. This was a time when Vietnamese refugees were arriving in the United States by the thousands. For years, Servicemen were bringing home Asian brides from Korea, the Philippines, and Japan. Predominantly, couples were made up of White men and Asian women. The reverse, Asian men and White women, was an extreme rarity.
Only in the last ten years or so, have Asian American men been able to rise in status in the USA. This has been accomplished partly due to rising prominence in business, sports, entertainment, and intellectual opportunities. Some may also note that perhaps it is just "our time" to enjoy the chance of becoming a popular option for not just White women, but for all kinds of women.
The old stereotype of Asian men being geeky, nerdy, and low on self-esteem is out the window. These stereotypes were actually prejudicial interpretations of Asian character. What was most offensive was the perception of "low self-esteem." In Asian culture, "humility" and the ability to humble one's self is seen as a virtuous trait in a person.
In the USA, according to the current socio-economic norms, if I want to succeed in the dating scene (to attract Asian women AND other ethnicities), I need to be boisterous, self-centered, and treat women like objects. If this is true, I'd rather go on living lonely and alone. That's not who I am. I'm a warrior and gentleman which means I approach everyone with a measured cup of respect.
One last note: Even tough guys need to be rescued. Please ladies, sweep me off my feet!
Your job may be made "safer." All we need now are animated supervisor and consultant signs.
Husband and Wife Teams...
It's tough enough finding your soulmate these days. How about working with your mate full time? Looks like these people have found that elusive balance.
The Ortiz Pottery Team
The Johnson's - Music & Ministry Team
Husband & Wife Construction Team/Kaseyama Catalog Vol. 18
